Learning To Be.

My Last blog on here was about 6 months ago. I talked about the beautiful movie ‘Life Of Pi ‘ and his Journey with constant battles and his Tiger. Now here I am 6 months later on my own unique Journey. Isnt it so funny how the universe works? You for certain have to walk your talk.

In the past 6 months life took a BIG change for me. Life has caused me to become completely uncomfortable and look my Tiger in his face. I’ve grown so much as a woman. Storm after storm I’ve found that each time it has revealed a new piece of Woman in me in unthinkable ways. If i never was pushed out of my comfort zone I would’ve missed them all and never changed.

So far on my Journey I’ve learned if someone turns on you. Its for the best its time to grow! In the end the sacrifices creates stronger bonds. You may not understand in the moment what the hell is going on BUT remember although you may not know NOW ,what it is, but you learned something from it. Once transformation is completed you will be delighted.

It seem through my storms I’ve received multiple things I’ve asked for from God and the Universe. Believe me I was confused.. still am a little bit? About why must one go through so much pain then receive the great news of what you want for yourself? I’ve learned from my personal experience, It is growing pains and once you make it through faith strong. You get to bury the old you. People start to recognize the NEW AND APPROVED you! They hear the growth in your voice. They feel the strong vibe in your presence. You will be in old places and recognize your growth you will think to yourself WOW my thought process is completely different then before! I am stronger and wiser and I know exactly where I want to go, I know I will get there, because my faith has been strengthened! God has been on this path with me and he will put me right where he wants me as proven multiple times! And in the end Just like on “Life Of Pi” your Tiger Vanishes and you continue on your Journey stronger in faith and ready for whats NEXT.

My Journey isn’t finished yet as I’ve reached my new growing experience. My hardest one yet. It is teaching me discipline in such a funny way. I am back to blogging now. I had a dream that expressed to me that I was needing to be creative and focus on something i love and brings me Joy. To not forget about myself. So here I am head strong and continuing on my Journey. Also one thing I’ve learned overall is, Everything is always working out for you 🙂 Just Breathe…

Finding Your Light 💡

Last month I was watching a beautiful movie called “Life Of Pi” several years ago when I first seen it I was younger but the beauty of the images were so beautiful I still cried. Now watching it last month I fully understood the message.

The young man in the movie is stuck on a boat with a fearsome bengal tiger.

The series of events unfold, but at some point of time the young man is forced to face his fears and makes a connection with the tiger. At one point after the boy accepts his fear. The tiger leaves into the Jungle without saying goodbye to the young man, after they have gotten off the boat. The young man cries.. as the tiger left. I also cried and cried again this time but a stronger cry. Because I understood.

When traumatizing things happen to us, we let them take over us and become victims playing it over and over in our emotions.

It isn’t until we look at our pain/fears and feel them that we are able to release them. After you feel them and release them. Remember who you are and focus on what you want, which is always to feel good. Every problem, every item, every scary situation that you’ve ever experienced was because you to wanted something and that is to feel good. because you believe with better conditions it will make you feel good…. So feel good now and everything else will follow. It’s so simple it’s hard.. God wants our trust now He wants our appreciation now he wants our love now, because everything he is. Is now. You are the key 🔑

Just be , let everything be. That’s the realest freedom. Then the tiger will dissolve right out of your life, no looking back 🐅.

Day 27, 28, 29 🧞‍♀️👸🏽

As you all know my blog started from my pure heart. On my journey of finding love and joy in my life. But things are happening that I wasn’t expecting but as I go along. I am bought to more understanding.

This month has been refreshing. Til Monday, I had a practiced negative emotion going. The funny thing is I made it up. Since I’ve been paying attention more. I realized the feeling, I even tried to push it away, which made it stronger as I fell deeper and deeper. I created a big mess. I’m not going into detail because that’s not important.

Anyways during this spiral I was fully aware. I was practicing a thought effortlessly. The so called feeling I was having was because I wanted to force someone to do something. That I thought would please me. I was so determined. I spent my whole day doing this. All my effort and I still couldn’t get this person to do what I wanted! Whyyyy wouldn’t they just do what I wanted it would just be SO peaceful afterwards!! I kept telling myself. WRONG.

Anytime you want someone to do something to please you, make you happy, or adapt to your beliefs. Means that you need to feel the feelings that you are feeling. Realize what you are wanting from that person, you want from yourself. The world is always a reflection of yourself.

“The World In The Eye Of The Beholder.”

Okay since when we focus on a thought it creates a high vibration. That is hard to break if you don’t catch it. It took me The Day to truly forgive myself and offer compassion to myself. I was able to appreciate the person I believed was responsible for my emotions. I took responsibility and seen that I wanted to Love, Appreciate and Respect myself. I sat in this appreciation awhile, milking it. From this new perspective from Love, Appreciation, and Respect. I was able to understand that God has plenty of Love, Appreciation, and respect for me. I could see and feel it now that I was out of my own way. I made peace with myself and my connection to God. I appreciate that he will never Judge me. I appreciate knowing that through the hard time I launch my most strongest desires. That it is up to me to allow them in.

The only way to change an unwanted situation. Is to change you first. I am having fun and learning not taking it so hard on myself. Instead do the one thing everybody calls you crazy for. Love through your pain. Like Jesus did, God will guide you!

Oh and yes once I aligned with who I really am. Everything worked out for me! I’m not trying to control!! I am loving freely because I am a lover! and I am receiving the persons love freely. Once you align with Gods love, everything MUST match your new vibe. Please believe me God will never leave us. Sometimes we trick ourselves in believing so. Accepting negative b.s. even influenced by others not aligned. I am not perfect and neither are you. So don’t get down when life seems bad. It is not easy you will have bad days. But your heart will always remember at some point who you are. Don’t block it. For god will never stop flowing his love. For he knows everything you are and to become. I’m excited to see more unfold, now that I am loving freely!

“If you want to make the world a better place. Take a look at yourself , and then make a change”

–Michael Jackson

Day 23 and 24 Update 🧁🦋

Don’t you forget about you.

That’s right you.

Yes; you!

Lets talk about independence a little a bit.

Independent: free from outside control; not depending on another’s authority.

I’ve realized lately this past week that,

I am seeking independence from my own thoughts.

This all came about when I seen a quote on a friends post. That was so powerful that I got the message instantly! and wanted to talk about it. Here’s the caption:

“I felt like it was time to set up our future, So I set a goal. My goal was my Independence.”

–Beyoncé Knowles

🦋🦋💙

Thank you for joining me today my loves! Yesterday was my birthday. It was absolutely wonderful. I got all my birthday wishes🦋

I received a whole bag of makeup, I had my ice cream cake. Which was absolutely satisfying and delicious! I had my family and it was perfect. I had a lot of fun. That is why this update is a little late. But I am here!! I am dedicated to my journey and these wonderful 30 days so far.🤞🏼🦋

The morning of my birthday my kids were so excited and wishing me birthday wishes. Then today on Sunday. They keep gleaming with excitement. “Happy Birthday/Easter mommy!!” They are so sweet and remember to say it every 2 hours. They make me laugh so much.

Tonight I also got my baby girl some fresh yams. I boiled them for her, mixed it up. She absolutely loved them. I also tried this new drink (I’ll include a picture below). It was made from watermelon water I believe and strawberries. It’s an all natural drink. I thought I’d talk about it, because the energy I had was amazing. I was refreshed and glowing with my vibe. Doing things with Ease. If your interested, check them out a Giant Eagle! Really easy and smooth to drink. I like trying different drinks etc. it’s a joy I have. I mostly almost always drink Tea, I love tea!! So now I always get them because I realize I enjoy doing so!!

What do you do, that you enjoy?🦋

P.s. Don’t forget your independence!😘

Day 22 Update🌸🦋

Okay then Friday I see you! Feeling fabulous treating me so well. So satisfying I’ll say. Hello my Vortex friends happy Friday to you all! IT IS officially April 19th the day before my birthday and I feel AMAZINGLY refreshed.

Man I can truly remember being 12 fantasizing about being 18 and what I’ll look like. It’s like I blinked and bam 22!! Now that I am actually here. I am so excited for many new opportunities and doors opening. Things to enjoy, experience and create in. I am ready.

The best gift I have received in my life ever are my kids. They are just so smart. They have counted down my birthday this week. Reminding everyday “mommy just 1 more day and you’ll be 22!” I just get so excited and amped and say “Yes! Yes it is thank you for remembering!” Honestly they are the best. My three little babies so sweet and growing. Admiring there mother in Joy. Excited to celebrate. I appreciate their love SO MUCH, I’m so lucky to have them here making my moments special.

My husband has been so exited as well. Gifting me with joy and gifts. I mean seriously all this love I get to dip in it’s absolutely wonderful. I just knew my birthday this year would be the best yet. The universe has done everything so perfectly and sweet. I feel so blessed. I look forward to picking up my birthday cake, with my brother tomorrow! I am 100% sure I’ve been in the Vortex all day rendezvousing in food, play, smiles and laughter. I’m loving this feeling my heart and mind gets. It’s so calming and peaceful. All my joy is natural and beautiful. I look forward to year 22 with love joy and passion!! All is well💜🦋

What Joy did you experience today?

Day 21 Update 🥂🌕

Hello Vortex family and friends I hope you all had a joyful day! It is April 18th and I am now home after a sweet Thursday! Enjoying a nice Margarita 🍸. It is now Spring break for this Momma now. Me, myself and I is absolutely joyful for an extra hour of sleep😴 this week. Woot woot!! Let’s face it as a mother sometime we moms just need our beauty rest to feel our best.

Anyways so now that Spring break has started today I kept thinking it was Friday. It sure felt like it was Friday really. The weather was beautiful and just slightly breezy. Making it the perfect weather for me and my two youngest babies to go on an adventure! It was so fun dressing them up to go out. I could tell I wasn’t the only one excited for the adventure!

We headed out to our neighborhood market several blocks away. Immediately we were treated with nature. My son knows it’s our thing and immediately spots out the best of everything. We came upon this beautiful purple tree that was just absolutely beautiful! I got a great picture of him in front of it. It is my favorite photo of the day.

What I really noticed about my neighborhood. Is the trees, they’re so bold and beautiful. Just sprouting away in this beautiful spring! Idk know if my neighbors plant these there self but there incredible! White, pink, purple, yellow red and green, Big too. It’s beauty all around us if we look and listen long enough. With me being an April baby, I am thriving for this growth and expansion of beauty always trusting the universe to grow its petals 🌸🌸🌸.

At the market we shopped for fruits and apple cinnamon applesauce and refreshing drinks. My daughter has been having a ball trying new foods. My son practically loves everything with much appreciation he is so sweet❤️

We discovered there is a fun new movie shop. We got invited in. They had candy, shirts, and customizable shirts. Graduation signs. The work on the shirts were very nice. Made creatively with nice material. I looked around the shop and noticed many people there. The man working was thriving with passion and love. It was sweet I noticed almost everyone was in there Vortex, excited for his work. I thought what a beautiful moment of creation, joy, and communication going on. So wonderful. Me and the kids left happy and pleased. The kids hands stuffed with tootsies candies. All was well..

I love ending my nights highlighting the joyful events in my life. I sleep so much better at night, I’m noticing. I then wake up excited too!

I now have one day until my birthday, I feel so excited. I learned that the day before my birthday is a new moon. I learned that if it lands on or near your birthday that your year is going to be filled with rewards! Cheers to 22!😘🦋

Pictures below🦋 ⬇️

Day 20 Update 🌕🌸

Hello Wednesday April 17th!! Today was a wonderful cozy weekday. Instantly when I woke up this morning my mind begin to remember good feeling thoughts. I took it from there confirming how wonderful this morning was. That I was the perfect person to be here. Ready to create wonderful love choosing fun playful things!

That is what I did. I noticed alll the nature with my kids! This is slowly becoming a wonderful bonding time with them. Answering all of there wonderful questions about nature. They make me realize all that is. That I used to simply look over in my own swarm of thoughts. Now I am present in Joy sniffing smiling and laughing! I’m realizing my Kids are the least past to resistance of feeling Joy! I noticed 98% Of the time, they are in the Vortex!! I understand them more now that I just chill and relax. I see them how God sees them. I now truly understand why I can’t get them to stop doing something they REALLY want/want to do. Seriously my kids seem to be teaching me Joy and Love! Who would’ve known??!

I watched my babies laugh and pick flowers, weeds and sticks etc. At one point of time Ezekiel picked a flower for Londyn and she tried to eat it. That tickled us so much and gave us a great laugh! We really are enjoying our love much more. I really appreciate finding this challenge. It is the best thing I’ve ever done!

Today I don’t remember much bothering me. Everything I wanted came with ease. I even learned to get myself into the Vortex while doing my makeup today. It was wayyyy better then effort. Instead I choose to feel good and be playful about it. It’s was so much fun! As always! but much more yummy and satisfying❤️

My beautiful day was topped off by seeing the moon today with my husband. It was so big and bright and if you stared at it long enough you could see the details. It was nice and soothing sitting there. Feeling the love. As we played and laughed and chatted. All is well. What joyful experience did you have today? 🦋

Day 19 Update 🥑💚

Hellooooooo Tuesday April 16! Today has been sooo soothinggg and I have been glowingggg! Yes glowing LOL today I did my avocado face mask and it was my favorite I did on my face so far! I did my face mask like 5 hours ago and I’m STILL glowing. I loved my natural glow so much today. That I decided to wear my natural face with mascara and shaded brows, and lipgloss with my natural hair. I was feeling myself so much! I felt good and that’s was the exact feeling I was looking for!

I’ve been in alignment with my vibe so much today! Constantly in the Vortex Seeing 444, 888, 222. I see you guardian angels I see you!!🦋

So you may be wondering what is a Vortex? : The vortex is a term for alignment to Source energy (Or God, All that is etc.) Being in the Vortex means you’re at one with who you really are, you’re feeling fab,and in vibrational alignment to your desires.

If you feel good then that’s how you know you are in your Vortex or alignment with God being your True self💙 It’s so much more but you can message me if you want to know more. Here in this blog I’ll be talking about me and my experiences with my Vortex🦋

So today I really enjoyed the weather lately me and my baby boys have really taken interest in flowers, trees and how beautifully they have bloomed. It was very beautiful watching them bloom from the top window of our home. So it was very delightful going outside to see them everyday. We even have a patch of small blue flowers in our yard that we are waiting to transform into purple little tiny sweet pea flowers! I’m not going to lie, I didn’t used to really be a nature person but I’ve been noticing all its beauty around me and In a way I feel connected to it.❤️

I am currently riding off a fun exciting feeling. My birthday is 3 days away and this Queen will be 22! I really feel like my birthdays have been sneaking up on me since I was 19 but I am very excited! I have a good feeling this will be an amazing birthday!!!!🎂

Everyday as I wake up and listen to my heart and my mind. To make a decision to find something to appreciate and feel good about, I realized something.. God is in everything. In me in you, in the earth everything. We have no reason to feel embarrassed or discomfort about where we are at this stage of life. We are powerfully on our path. And you are just the beginning, the best part of your life.💙🦋🦋

Day 18 🧘‍♀️💕

Hello my loves, It is 11:21pm after a lovely Monday. As I get more comfortable with typing away on my keyboard. I feel as if I’m Rev. run, off of ‘Run’s House when he’d blogged the days events on his blackberry after his day in a bubble bath 🛀😂. I’ve come to really love blogging… Anyways enough of my babbling lets get to the good stuff!

This morning before I woke up, I was dreaming of my beautiful cousin ‘Ubi’ it’s been awhile since I’ve seen her. In my dream we were in Chicago at the ‘Americangirl’ in my dream we were laughing with Joy because we were so excited to be there, after talking about the fun we’d have there for so long it was delicious to be there with each other. I just remember our laughter it was so fun the feeling! I really enjoy good dreams that I can remember. It’s been awhile since I thought of that moment I think I actually forgot about it. How sweet for it to show up in my dreams? Funny I forgot about it. Since the reason when I first made my Instagram a few years ago that is why I made my user name “Americandoll___” Is it my mind heart and Vibe sending me good feelings to remember? If so thank you God I’m so appreciative. Do you guys dream at all??

Anyways my dream was cut short this morning to my oldest son crying. My handsome baby is 6 and is in Kindergarten. I woke up and went to him. I couldn’t help but laugh when he told me the reason he was crying is because he missed school. I said “Zay you are up a hour early. You didn’t miss school yet.” He is the sweetest really. He loves school so much and has a passion for learning. He really loves whistles and Spider-Man. He’s my first love, I’ve grown in love so much these 6 years. It was A great morning taking him to school excited for the days adventure.❤️

Also later that day, I checked the mail and received free phone service, which surprised me really. I said how lovely is that? Today I also was let known I get to choose from free food options on my birthday coming up on 4/20! On top of that my free 10th pizza!! and as always my love bought me my favorite candy 🍭.

I was also nervous about starting my blog now, and if I was following my heart and starting my blog was right for me and I received confirmation tonight!! I am so appreciative for my blessings, and I’m just so excited looking towards tomorrow to see what can happen next. Always remember tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life! Own it💙 it is so much love for you🦋

Day 17 Update 💕🦋

I’m not sure how I want to start this so I’ll jump straight in. It’s 04/14/2019 Sunday. Approximately 10:30 p.m. I am currently chilling. A little tired from having the Longest fight ever with my self! I guess I was a little shocked to have some negative feelings pop up so strong today. As I did continue to listen to my heart, I’ve come to realize something. My body was used to this attitude!!! I realize I didn’t have much control as my anger comes in unconsciously. I really haven’t realized this and BOY IS IT HARD TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR! I’m trying to be open and honest about everything so follow me here..

I had a problem today where I got in some disputes. Since I’ve been paying attention to how I feel. I realized this anger was already there waiting for something to set her off. Mhmmm interesting.. I feel like Sunday’s I already prepare myself to be grouchy knowing monday is a new week.. so instead of listening to my heart and remembering who I am. I’ve been following this negative Nancy vibe and looking for unwanted things to fire me up!! This was my (aha moment) 😂 ..

Okay so I realized I was doing this. It was very hard for me to fight the negative Nancy Vibe in the moment. I was very upset. The momentum in my upset energy was so strong. At about 9:00 🕘 I said okay “WHAT DO I WANT?” Why do I feel like this? I breathed and thought. I just want to feel good. I brushed my hair into a beautiful bun. Created a fun Top. Made dinner and fed my babies. After awhile of focusing on things I appreciate, I felt a bit better. I found me again. Now I’m laying down watching #KillingEve reruns relaxed.

After paying more attention to myself and caring how I feel. I realized that I want to change my beliefs about Sunday’s. I give myself permission to feel good, remember who I am. I am going to let my light shine no matter the darkness, the best I can. I’m going to remember to be kind to my heart mind and body.

I think we all are worthy and even if things are not going perfect or we are confused or mad. Just remember who you are. Remember you are a masterpiece made by unconditional love. All is well😘

I hope you all enjoyed this thank you for love💟💟💟